Our human behavior of taking the easy path actually makes no sense. By chasing easy pleasures, we lose happiness.

Study after study has found that passive activities, such as surfing the web in your pajamas or watching a marathon of Mad Men episodes, actually makes you unhappy compared with doing something active. Kids, for example, are much happier playing a sport instead of parking themselves in front of the television. In fact, they experience a higher level of enjoyment that brings increased benefits to their mind and body (what researchers call “elevated excitement”) when they play sports.

Despite that fact, when given the choice, kids are four times more likely to watch TV than head outside to kick a ball around. You are exactly the same. You love it once you are exercising, cleaning out your closets, or working on your resume, but knowing that fact is rarely enough to push you off your ass to do it. Why would we spend four times more time doing something that has less than half the chance of making us feel good?

2011 speaker Mel Robbins is host of the daily syndicated radio show, “The Mel Robbins Show” and best-selling author of ”STOP SAYING YOU’RE FINE: The No BS Guide To Getting What You Want.” She is also a monthly columnist for SUCCESS Magazine. 　

Do you love your personal brand? Or does your online presence leave you feeling disingenuous or not authentic? All of the work you’ve put in—tending to how you appear online—has been important, for sure. But in the quest to create a brand, have you lost yourself? Perhaps now is the time to step back and make sure that who you are online is really who you are.

The truth is, as we endeavor to reach our target audiences—customers, readers, colleagues—we may be leaving some valuable parts of ourselves out. Under the guise of a personal brand, have we settled for shallow shells of ourselves? Even worse, are our online brands not even us at all? Another truth: as online audiences become more sophisticated, experienced, and discerning, many can spot a fake a mile away—a fluffy resume, a stagnant website, a boring obligatory “business blog” (insert collective cringe here). Even the most die-hard personal brand proponents will tell you that shallow shells don’t sell. (Say that ten time fast!)

Yes, we already know that our online presence should be a top priority in our business marketing plans. In today’s business climate, all of the marketing rules that we know about branding—like the importance of tending to first impressions and perception, telling our story well, and defining our market and niche with precision—apply to our personal brand.  But behind all of that must be a real person who does something well.

Is your online presence more than just a shell of an image?

Does the real you shine through?

If not, take an inventory of your websites, blogs, and social media, and give your online self a makeover. Even if you already love it, your personal brand should never be static—your online you is always a work in progress. Check out these links for helpful hints and useful perspectives:

Chris Curtis Managing Your Reputation Online

Kyle Lacy Ten Truths about Powerful Personal Brands

Olivier Blanchard R.I.P. Personal Branding

Gina Carroll began writing, blogging, and speaking after leaving a large corporate law practice to became a stay at home mom, raising her five children. She is now nationally recognized for her coverage of the parenting and family landscape, including relationships, digital fluency, parenting adolescents, and getting into college. She is a passionate spokesperson and blogger for MomsCleanAirForce.org. On her sites, Tortured By Teenagers, ThinkActParent.com and ThinkActEat.com, Gina also advocates for literacy, dropout prevention and the importance of the family meal. She is a graduate of Stanford University and U.C.L.A. Law School.

When she was four years old, my daughter, Madison, often saw her friends leaving their after-school program to go to soccer, ballet, piano, and other activities. One day, when I picked her up from preschool, she said, “Mommy, please don’t overschedule me. I just want to play after school and relax on weekends!”

I said, “Okay, tell you what: I’ll suggest some activities now and then, and when you’re ready to do something outside of school, you can choose.”

A few years later, when she was six, we went together to her best friend Rachael’s dance recital. The program featured ballet, tap, jazz, and hip-hop for girls from three to twenty years old. It was a three-hour production — and Madison sat on the edge of her seat the whole time, completely enthralled in every minute of it.

“Mommy,” she said after the recital was over, “This is what I want to do! Can we sign up right now?” So we did — she signed up for a class that combined ballet, tap, and jazz for her age group.

Some time later, we went shopping for a leotard and shoes in preparation for her dance class. After Madison picked out a few different styles, we made our way to the fitting room, where she tried on each one to see which felt most comfortable. Finally, she made her choice: sleeveless and black with a matching skirt.

As she stood in front of the mirror, assessing her new outfit, her face lit up. “Mommy,” she exclaimed, “I am freaking out with joy! I was born to dance!”

That was three years ago. Madison has since danced in several recitals herself, and she is totally engaged in her dance class. In fact, it has become her favorite part of the week. She prepares her dance bag the night before each class session to make sure she doesn’t forget anything the next morning. After her first spring recital, when the dance studio shut down for summer recess, Madison said, “How am I going to live this summer without dance class? Dance is my life!”

Ask her what she wants to be when she grows up and she replies without hesitation, “A dancer!” If you’re looking for Madison, chances are good you’ll find her in some part of the house practicing her dancing.

Madison’s love of dancing reminds me that it is those times in our lives when we are freaking out with joy that give us the greatest clues about who we are and where we genuinely belong.

There is a unique, almost magnetic quality I’ve often noticed in people who wholeheartedly love what they do, and over the years I’ve come to recognize that quality as authenticity. When Madison’s dancing, she is not only genuinely happy, she is also being fully Madison.

2011 Conference for Women keynote Betsy Myers is the author of Take the Lead (available on Amazon).

Save 50 percent using the CFW discount code on their upcoming “How to Get a Job You Will Love” bootcamp this Feb. 6-17, and their course on “The Big Idea: Discover Your Passion and Make it Your Business,” which will take place this March 5-30.

How to Get A Job You Will Love – Feb. 7-17



Regular Registration Rate: $95

Conference for Women discount rate – $47 (code: cfw)

The course:  BrazenU’s two-week How to Get a Job You Will Love online bootcamp will teach you how to form a successful job search strategy, how to leverage social media in your search, insider secrets on how to interview with top recruiters and create a stellar network, how to shape your resume and cover letter, and much more. You’ll also have a chance to workshop your resume with professional consultants in a live, one-on-one speed resume review session.

Here’s more of what you’ll get for registering:

• 7 hours of LIVE web conferences with top job search experts
• 1 hour of LIVE Q&A with recruiters on interviewing
• 1 hour of online speed resume review and personalized career coaching
• 2 hours of online networking events to build your network
• 2 exclusive job search strategy videos from career experts
• Access to all course materials for one year

Find more information about the course and register here, and make sure you use code CFW to register at the exclusive $47 discounted rate!

The Big Idea: Discover Your Passion and Make it Your Business

Regular Registration Rate: $225

Conference for Women discount rate: $125

The course: This course will help you turn your big idea into a business and make an impact. In 4 weeks, you’ll know how to turn that lightbulb moment into a venture with potential for profit and impact.  The Big Idea: Discover Your Passion and Make it Your Business will offer a pragmatic approach to launching a business, from your initial concept to securing investors.

The biggest detriment to entrepreneurs is often focus, lack of resources, and not knowing where to start. We’ve brought in top experts to help you with all of that. You’ll learn how to identify and leverage your resources, develop a compelling story and a clear business message, and learn how to pitch your idea to potential investors.

Here’s more of what you’ll get for registering:

• 4 weeks of engaging, structured coursework on how to turn your idea into a business
• Over 8 hours of LIVE web conferences featuring successful entrepreneurs, investors, and innovative business experts
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• Personalized investor feedback on your business plan and pitch
• 2 hours of online networking events with speakers and your fellow participants to build your network
• Challenge exercises with review to help you progress your plans
• Curated reading recommendations
• Access to all course materials for one year
• And more!

Find more information about the course and to sign up click here, and make sure you use code CFW to register at the exclusive $125 discounted rate!

1. Twitter helps you maintain loose relationships and strengthen strong relationships. Technology allows you to keep a better handle on friends, acquaintances, and virtual acquaintances. Far more than ever before, I’m vaguely aware of a huge number of people, some of whom I “know” and some I don’t “know,” and although that sounds overwhelming, it makes my life warmer and richer.

2. Twitter allows you to pursue your passion – even if only in your imagination. A key to a happier life is to have fun; people who regularly have fun are twenty times as likely to feel happy. But if you can’t find the time, or if you’d like to spend even more time on your passion, Twitter is a great source of conversation. If you love cheese, Mad Men, green technology, or knitting, you can find other people who are interested in the same thing, day or night.

3. Twitter lets you help other people. Do good, feel good. If you have friends who raise money for a charity, who write books or articles, who perform music, who advocate for a cause, or otherwise want to direct attention someplace – or if you want to help strangers who are doing these things — Twitter lets you shine a spotlight on their activities or on issues that you think are important. I periodically try to persuade people to commit to being organ donors.

4. Twitter makes gathering information easier. If you follow people who share your interests, they’ll help you keep abreast of everything happening in that area. And if you have a general question, crowd-sourcing it to Twitter is a great way to get an answer.

However!

Twitter has one major drawback for happiness: it uses up time, and time is in short supply for most of us. It’s true, it’s an efficient way to scan headlines, keep up with passions, and connect with people, but the fact is, it may tempt you to spend too much time engaging with it, or to procrastinate from doing other, less enticing work. Use it well.

2011 Pennsylvania Conference for Women keynote speaker Gretchen Rubin is author of the #1 New York Times and international bestseller, “The Happiness Project.”

A while back I joined an organization that I believed in whole-heartedly. I liked their ideals, mission and leadership. When I met people whom I thought were a fit, I would let them know about the organization and gave them my personal guarantee that they would enjoy themselves and learn a lot in the process.

Recently, that same organization created a special program to which I invited a dear friend – actually, I insisted that he attend so that he could experience what I had experienced.

The time spent was great, but not remarkable. Something was off…and halfway through the program, we both realized what it was. It was the person they hired to lead the program. He was hard to follow, confusing and in general didn’t “fit” with the flavor of this organization that I had come to appreciate. I was duly embarrassed.

Here I had insisted that my friend attend this event with me and it turned out to be almost a total bust. Wow.

Now, I still like the organization, but I’m less engaged and less likely to refer people to them. I’m also less inclined to attend events myself. A big shift.

So, what the heck does any of this have to do with social media?

It has to do with the people with whom you connect, the people whom you allow to comment on your blog, the people whom you retweet on Twitter.

I’m sure you take take and care in building your brand. You make sure your company uses the right colors in your logo, oozes sure-fire customer service and gives off exactly the right “vibe”. As a result, your market loves the feeling they get when they read blog and they genuinely care about what you have to say. So much so, they tell other people!

All of this can be undone in an instant if you allow spam comments to pile up on your blog or if you retweet or “friend” the wrong person – someone who writes or spreads objectionable content. Some people have a policy of “friending” anyone who sends them a request. Be careful of this.

If you’ve taken my advice about managing your time with social media, you’ll have time set aside to review profiles of people who want to connect with you to make sure they’re not social polluters. (And, if you have an assistant, they can do this for you).

Bottomline: Don’t be lazy, do whatever it takes to preserve your positive brand experience by making sure you connect with the right people.

2011 PA Conference for Women speaker Lena L. West is an award-winning social media consultant, blogger, speaker, journalist, technologist and the founder of InfluenceExpansion.com, the only social media training program created exclusively for women business owners and leaders. Forbes says West is one of the 30 women entrepreneurs to follow on Twitter. http://www.influenceexpansion.com/ 

This was it – the maiden voyage of an expert exchange session on Strategies for Successful Transitions and Second Acts – we knew it was interactive – but would participants do it? After all, it was the last session of an incredibly full day. Would people have any energy left or would they stare at us vacantly, causing us to wonder whether this was really such a good idea?

With the moment of truth upon us, we explained the process, “You have 1 minute to tell the person next to you a defining moment in your life, ‘Go!’” The cacophony was deafening, the cadence intense – there was laughter and tears, new friendships were forged and old ones were deepened. No one wanted to change partners for the next two exercises.

Instant bonding materialized, emails exchanged, mentors were found and dreams were shared – fearlessness – that elusive feeling of power and connection that had been discussed all day was understood, internalized, and practiced. People came in from the halls to see what the buzz was about…there was magic in the air. Share your story of conference connection with us – we’d love to know… www.themiraclechase.com

2011 speaker Joan Luise Hill is co-author of “The Miracle Chase: Three Women, Three Miracles and a Ten Year Journey of Discovery and Friendship.” She hosted the Expert Exchange Session: Strategies for Successful Transitions and Second Acts at the 2011 Pennsylvania Conference for Women.

An important part of keeping your immune system strong during this winter’s cold and flu season is making sure you get enough sleep. Adults need around seven to eight hours of sleep a night, but many fall short of that. If you are having trouble sleeping there are a few adjustments you can make at home that just might help you get the sleep you need.

Create a routine to help prepare your mind and body for sleep

• Establish a relaxing bedtime routine such as taking a warm bath and reading for 10 minutes before going to bed. By doing the same thing every night before going to sleep eventually these activities will help you feel sleepy.

• If you find that your mind races when you try to go to sleep, putting your thoughts down on paper can help get them out of your head. You want to avoid doing any activities that may be mentally or emotionally stimulating right before you go to sleep.

• Resist the temptation to ‘sleep in’ on weekends or days you don’t have to work. It is better to have a regular bedtime and waking time.

Create a calming sleep environment

• Your bedroom should be dark, quiet, cool, and tidy. Visible clutter can keep your mind active and add to stress. If noise is a problem, a humidifier this time of year can provide soothing white noise as well as some much-needed moisture into the air.

• Use your bed only for sleeping or for having sex. Avoid watching TV, talking on the phone, or eating in bed.

• Keep all bedroom clocks out of sight. Clock watching can add to stress and makes it harder to fall asleep.

Pay attention to the timing of activities

• Try not to consume caffeine after lunch; it can take from 6-8 hours to eliminate just half of the caffeine you ingest.

• Limit or stop using nicotine and alcohol close to bedtime. Though alcohol may initially make you feel sleepy, it often causes you to wake up in the middle of the night.

• Exercise daily in the morning or afternoon. Exercising at night can make you too alert to fall asleep.

• Don’t eat a large meal close to your bedtime.

Consistent use of these techniques and re-establishing routines takes time and effort, but a good night’s sleep is well worth it!

For more information, go to rwwc.com

‘Tis the season to be jolly — and also stressed out. If you’re feeling irritable, rushed, resentful, lonely, or overwhelmed, keep these strategies in mind to help boost your happiness:

1. Get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major disturber of people’s moods. Jet lag, traveling, parties, and over-excited children all make it hard to get your usual number of hours. Making an effort to get to bed at a decent time really pays off.

2. Exercise. Studies show that one of the quickest and surest ways to boost your mood is to exercise. If you’re away from home and can’t do your usual routine, even a short walk will help. Even better, exercise outside, where the sunlight will help improve your mood and focus.

3. Stay in control of your eating. It seems to me that guilt about holiday binging is a major source of the blues. It may seem Scrooge-ish to skip the gingerbread cookies, but I’m happier when I’m not worrying about it.

4. Take your time; plan ahead. Rushing through stores, yelling at your kids to put on their coats, sprinting to make a flight – these are sure to put you in a bad mood. Try to give yourself plenty of time to do what you need to do.

5. Learn from the past. What has made you unhappy in years of old? Think back. Avoid your triggers. If it will make you happier, stay out of the kitchen, stay out of the mall, stay away from Uncle Jim. Don’t expose yourself to known happiness risks.

6. Make time for real fun. Sometimes holiday vacations, which are supposed to be “fun,” are actually a huge hassle. Figure out ways to have more fun and less work. In my family, we decided to reduce gift-giving; all the adults draw one name, and we each buy stocking presents for just one other person. Also, include time for things YOU like to do: going to a movie, taking a nap while everyone else goes skating, going to the gym.

7. Behave yourself! If you sulk, snap, tease, or shirk, you’re not going to feel happy. It may feel good, but only for a moment. Then you’re going to feel bad. Instead, try to help out, bite your tongue, clean up, or run to the store. Look for opportunities to say, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” or “This is fine,” or “What should I be doing?” Do good, feel good—this really works! The way we act shapes the way we feel, so if you act in an affectionate, thoughtful way, you’ll feel more affectionate and thoughtful.

8. Fill your heart with love. My Twelfth Personal Commandment is “There is only love.” If you’re heading into a difficult situation, take a moment to fill your heart with love. Think of all the reasons that you’re grateful to your family and friends, and the happy memories you’ve shared, and how things might look from other people’s perspectives. This can be hard to do, but it will make you happier. And if you’re happy, you’re going to be better able to make other people happy.

Holidays are supposed to be a time of peace, love, and fun — and we can’t bicker, complain, and nag our way there. Figure out what you need to do to keep a holiday spirit. What stresses you out during the holidays? What do you do to keep yourself feeling calm and light-hearted?

2011 Pennsylvania Conference for Women keynote speaker Gretchen Rubin is author of the #1 New York Times and international bestseller, “The Happiness Project.”

There is a man in a sport jacket and tie who sits on the bench outside my grocery store each afternoon holding a well worn brown paper bag and a 12-inch stack of index cards. He politely asks each customer if they would like to hear a joke. I am sad to admit that when I first moved to my new neighborhood a couple of years ago, I would rush past him in my harried manner to get the onerous task of shopping over with as quickly as possible. Over time, this kind soul has worn me down. He smiles whether I stop or not; he requires nothing of me, but trusts in the manner of one who believes in the good of the human spirit. A while back, I started stopping. He reads me a joke, I smile, sometimes laugh and for ten seconds we share a human connection.

As a breast cancer survivor, people often come to me for advice for a friend or family member coping with this dread disease; my response is always the same: they can take away your hair, various body parts and your sense of control, but they can never take away your sense of humor, unless you let them.

A sense of humor saves us – with illness, with our children, and certainly with the snarly and cynical. I think laughter changes chemistry just like those endorphins from exercise. And, you can’t be afraid or angry and be thinking of something funny at the same time. Our sense of humor keeps us human; it costs nothing, is something everyone is born with, and brings joy to ourselves and to others. So, like those random acts of kindness we read about, the beauty of a sunrise or sunset, the smell after a cleansing rain, the intricacy of a snowflake or autumn maple leaf, join me in finding joy in the simple, the free, and the unexpected. Maybe today I’ll give myself a gift and ask for a second joke…

2011 Pennsylvania Conference for Women speaker Joan Luise Hill is co-author of The Miracle Chase: Three Women, Three Miracles and a Ten Year Journey of Discovery and Friendship.